Hello there my lovelies!
Decided to empty my soul today by talking how i feel about being immobile and wanting to do soo much and not being able to.
Only now i understood how much we need out legs in simple daily basis activities, only now when i broke it and feel useless i understand how hard is being closed in the house, not going outside because walking on crutches is not the same when you have both of your feet.
I know i will be back on track in 6 weeks, i know it, because that is what i want the most right now and i will do all my best to get back on my feet and make my life like i want it and do everything i want.
I know i will be fine, i stopped smoking on the day i got in the hospital, that is April 15th, 3 weeks ago! Because my doctors said if i don't stop it may interfere with the healing of my bones and when i heard that, my brain had a click and i just deleted from my brain that i ever again want to smoke, and so i did, i just stopped, with no help, all by myself, because i know what is priority here, my ankle!
I'm trying to move around the house as much as i can because i eat a lot during the day and watch movies and not moving = getting a lil bit of not so needed KG on top, i'm feeling it and i know that after i get back on my feet i will exercises to get back in shape and that is one of my reasons to be excited to walk again, back in shape means back to shoot more, back to shoot more means get my life back and the things i love to do, not to say that i want to go to work, as weird as it sounds i miss my job, i miss my colleagues, i miss talking to clients & make jokes, i miss just doing something that keeps me busy, i miss waking up knowing i have something important to do.
All these tiny things make me happy and i cannot wait to be back and doing them again!
I understand there are people with worse problems and that mine is not that big of a deal, but when it happens to you, you feel like it's the worse thing ever and no one understands, i feel like that somedays, and it's not fun, but i think about others and put my head up, i try to think positive ever since i broke it, i see positivity in the most negative things, i was supposed to be in Portugal right now, see my family and hanging out with tons of sexy SG's in a beautiful big ass house by the beach for 2 weeks, but i'm here, stuck at home, seeing all those pictures. It just makes me sad of what happened to me and in such bad timing but i turn it all around, i think that maybe i wasn't suppose to go, and this is the way the Universe was able to warn me, i don't know, but one thing i do know, the night before all of this happened i had a breakdown and didn't know what to do with my life, to stay in London or to go back to Portugal, i called my mom and she calmed me down but we where supposed to talk the next day on Skype at 9pm and at 7pm of that day i broke my ankle after an entire day of skateboarding around London, after having such a great sunny day, an hour before going home i just slided down a tiny hill where was a tiny bump that would never make me stop if i saw it but my skateboard stopped and felt on my foot and broke it.
Wanna know the funniest part? i could wiggle my fingers and i tried to stand on it and walk to the hospital, i didn't cried, i laughed a lot ahaha specially when i saw my foot moving to sides like a jelly!
It wasn't painful, well, until it got really swollen and then we decided that maybe we need to go to hospital, and i'm glad we did, because it could get worse.
Anyway i wanna thank you everyone who wished me to get well soon and to stay positive, i'm trying my best dear people, and thanks to your smiles & messages everyday, everything feels less "painful"
you guys are my support, you show me love & i give it back to you in my ways, and that is being a community, understanding others problems and helping each other, i'm thankful for having all you!
P.S: i'm not in pain anymore, now it's just uncomfortable feeling of the cast on my leg, and i cannot wait to know how it's going and change for a more confy cast :3 and maybe draw some awesome shit on it ahahah
xx A.T.
